101: Take a Note

To mark his 101st journal entry, Ben Collins shows his readers a rare first hand look into the workings behind each post
Since I closed the door on my apartment back in Birmingham and set off on The Goodbye Tour I have found myself taking brief notes throughout each day to ensure I retain all of the little details that make this journal what it is...

...The notes that I take are often in somewhat of a 'raw' state and turning them in to one of the now 100 finished articles in this journal generally takes somewhere in the region of 3-5hrs. Needless to say, it takes a great deal of time and effort.

So to mark my 101st post, I wanted to give you an illustration of what a typical day looks like through  my eyes and in my notes.  Before reading on though, I should emphasise that this material is unsuitable for grandparents or any other person(s) who do not wish to harm the positive image you will no doubt currently have of me (i.e. innocent, polite, can do no wrong). By reading on you forego the right to complain to me about my behaviour and my language.

Ben's Notes from 8th July

Note: I have made a few additional notes in italics to help provide context and understanding where I think it can be of benefit.

16:20 Arrived at my CouchSurfer's home. She's not here and I'm dying for a pee

16:32 Found a wifi connection and phoned Laura. Going to be meeting her around the corner.

17:15 Beer time! Looks like I'm in for a good night.

17:57 OK, so I'm sat in front of 6 people in the busiest of bars with several of them doing MDMA. Hmm... Interesting :/

18:02 So the guy sat opposite me is unsubtly dealing this stuff. Tonight is most definitely going to be interesting

18:09 One of the girls I am with has become unbelievably horny thanks to the drugs and is trying to persuade her non-drugged up boyfriend to let her toss him off under the bench. How romantic. Fortunately for us both, he is currently declining though she doesn't look like she's going to give up any time soon.

18:21 Drunk 4 pints in an hour and being ushered off to a house party. The opportunity for bad things to happen is on the up. Fast.

18:37 I am in this really nice apartment with a rooftop balcony. The horny couple have gone to f**k downstairs whilst everybody else is high on the roof. I should probably have another drink.

18:59 Now at somebody else's place.

20:05 Spent an hour listening to some gay guy telling me about every relationship he has ever had. Clearly - he is damaged goods! Urgh.

20:41 We went to get cigarettes, beer and some food and are back now at this flat. Been offered MDMA several times and there's a guy trying to buy coke and ecstasy.

For those of you who are wondering - "no" I did not accept any drugs from these people!

20:55 The guy in front of me has taken so much MDMA that his jaw is shaking like there's no tomorrow. He is trying to fight it but can't. It's not fun to watch because I was talking with him earlier and he seemed like a nice guy. Now he just looks like a twat.

22:07 OK so I'm sat on this balcony watching this guys chin vibrating like shit and I just don't get it. He doesn't look like he's having any fun at all!? I thought drugs were meant to be fun, no?

22:53 The view of this place at the moment is amazing.

23:03 Watching fireworks on the horizon from the Stampede and they have the Fore lit on GOP of the observations towr [I think I meant to say "they have the fire lit on top of the observation tower]

00:19 Walking up 6 floors to some apparent high profile party

Some time later Amazing party across three apartments. At least 250 people there penthouse - big gay dance party - hundreds of them drank vodka and coke. Room with popcorn in

We went to this party, uninvited. It had at least 150 people there, the majority of which were friendly, if not a little in your face with their sexuality. Following our attendance we headed back to one of the apartments we were at earlier in the evening where we were joined by George Strombolopolous - a Canadian TV chatshow host (like the Canadian version of Jonathon Ross). I have no idea what we spoke about but I am sure I delivered myself impeccably.

Beyond that, everything else is a blur and my notes become nothing more than a jumble of letters which even I can't make sense of. The only thing I do remember is that upon arriving back at Laura's I confused the toilet for the stairs and fell down a flight head first. I stood straight back up and figured it was time for bed.

The following afternoon we both awoke feeling like we had each been drinking for twelve hours...

Laura: "I'd better put some perfume on so I don't smell like a dead hooker!" Perfect.

12:19 Back at the scene of the crime - ordering a burger (yey) and beer (omg)

15:49 Hangover has gone

17:18 5 and a half beers down...things are good

18:55 2 more veers. Spent a long time talking about the smell of vaginas

19:02 download app "dog whistle"

I still haven't downloaded the app.