Dear America (Part 3)

In his third and final letter to America, Ben reveals what he really thinks of the “greatest country on Earth”

Los Angeles Intl. Airport

25th October 2012
RE: Good Game

Dear America

Following my four week adventure down through the west coast of your country I just wanted to write you a final letter to say thank you for having me.

In addition, I feel like I should take this opportunity to come clean and admit that my initial letter (available here) may in fact have been based on false truth, for whilst I claimed to arrive sporting an open mind, I was secretly very sceptical.

However, it appears my scepticism was wrongly placed for as I sit here in Los Angeles International Airport waiting for my flight I can't help but feel my departure is a little premature.

Whether it was climbing a volcano, visiting a rainforest or riding the Greyhound, I really had an incredible experience and one I shall be sure never to forget. Best of all though were your people, for during this short stop I came to meet some truly wonderful folk, many of whom I hope will remain friends for a long time yet.

Regretfully though, I did not quite find the opportunity to explore as much as I would have liked. Upon arriving, I had very much hoped my trip would come to include Yosemite, Death Valley, The Grand Canyon and Las Vegas, but realistically I had neither the budget nor the time. Perhaps though, this is a good excuse to come back some day? Maybe then I'll even make it out to the East coast, for New York in particular has always been somewhere I'd like to visit.

So anyway, whilst many of my preconceptions have been proved wrong, we must both remind ourselves that I did only visit just 3 of your 52 States. Moreover, you know as well as everybody else that the three States in question are your most normal liberal, so in many ways my findings are not a surprise. Put it this way, I am sure, beyond almost any doubt, that this letter would have taken on a very different tone if I had perhaps visited 3 States from inside your renowned bible belt.

But liberal as they may be though, I still managed to see some pretty ridiculous things worth noting.
  • Firstly, I feel the produce you sell your people is nothing short of a joke. The "fresh" produce in particular was rather alarming for I have never before seen tomatoes so red, carrots so straight or apples so shiny. Whether it be selective breeding or genetically modified, do you really think it necessary?
  • Secondly, TV Commercials. Here's an idea... have less of them.
  • Abortion. We all have our opinions on the matter and voicing them is a right we should stand by. I do however draw the line at seeing anti-abortion campaign trucks advertising their messages through the visual stimuli of aborted 1st trimester foetuses... it's not cool America. It's disgusting, it's distasteful and for a quiet neighbourhood at 10am in the morning its damn right inappropriate. Sort it out.
But hey, perhaps with the latter there, there's no hard feelings... I still had a great time. Anyway America... my flight is being called so it's about time I bid you a fond farewell. 

Thanks again and until next time...

Ben Collins

P.S Please do the yourself (and the World) a favour... and don't elect that Romney fellow - it'll only end badly.